#leadfromyoursoul #abundancemindset #mindsetmatters #successmindset#authenticleadership #letgo #illusionofcontrol
Control is the most subtle form of self-sabotage. It is often a major block to success, authentic leadership, and unconditional abundance.
The ability to establish trusting relationships with others is one of five key characteristics of authentic leadership according to the authentic leadership approach developed by Bill George (2003). Control-based leadership manifests as micromanagement of followers and or your team. Control is the antagonist to happiness, healing, and imagination.
In a group coaching session, a participant complained about not being able to discard all boxes she had in her apartment. The task of decluttering her small apartment proved to be a challenge. She kept going round in circles while pondering why the job seemed overwhelming. “What do you need to let go of on an emotional level to be able to get rid of those outdated boxes?” I inquired. Her eyes twinkled, and an avalanche of emotional baggage unfolded as she disclosed the sentimental value these boxes and their contents represent. They belonged to her late aunt, who passed away a year ago. We listened until there was silence. Then I exclaimed, “would it be so bad if you let go for now and waited until you feel ready to dispose of these possessions? Would that be so bad?” Again, there was a prolonged silence, and then she replied, “maybe not.” In a way, she was trying to control her own healing.
Control stems from fear and insecurities, i.e., fear of loss, hurt, failure, and the list can be endless. It is an ego-based behavior pattern. Control is healthy if it means taking responsibility for your life and holding yourself accountable for your actions. Nonetheless, too much control is counterproductive.
Today people want their leaders to relinquish control in favor of a more open and transparent relationship that softens the boundaries around their leadership role and allows for more communication and innovation. Leaders need to learn to let go of old plans, pictures, and policies for something better, in exchange for greater loyalty and commitment.
Control erodes the quality of our relationships. It signals a shift from mutual love and respect to a tug-of-war for dominance and power where everyone loses. When we try to control others, we push them away.
How do you know if you are exercising too much control? When applying too much control, your life will feel labored, like going against the grain or rolling a boulder uphill. You are not in flow.
Too much control creates separation. It detaches you from your unlimited potential and disconnects you from your innate well-being. By contrast, letting go of control is the key to unconditional prosperity, effortless success, and exponential growth.
Let go to make yourself available for the highest possible outcome in everything you do.
What is lurking behind her need for control?
Reach out and connect!
I will help you peel off the layers and unearth the fear lurking in the deepest recesses of your mind so that you can truly let go of the old to receive the abundance and blessings of the present moment. To work with me in developing a leadership roadmap for you and/or your team, book a free strategy call at www.drayaakkari.com. Elevating your leadership is not an easy feat, which is where I come in. I help you uncover your why and create a leadership roadmap specific to your needs. I provide you with accountability, check-ins, evidenced-based coaching, and professional support from a certified leadership coach credentialed by the International Coaching Federation, an organizational leadership specialist, and an emotional resilience trainer.
Come with me; let’s lead together!
I empower busy and ambitious executives, business owners, and professionals to go from existing to living so they can gain clarity on their purpose, unlock their potential, and elevate their leadership. I am a doctor and a certified leadership coach credentialed by the International Coaching Federation; I have earned a master’s degree in organizational leadership and am a certified emotional resilience mentor and trainer. I have had the pleasure of establishing coaching relationships with leaders from 20 different organizations.
References
Northouse, P. G. (2016). Leadership: Theory and practice. Los Angeles, CA: Sage.
