#leadfromyoursoul #abundancemindset #mindsetmatters #successmindset#authenticleadership #letgo #internalmonsters #getunstuck
Have you ever experienced a period in your life where you felt stuck in a rut or jolted to a halt by a dead end? You go to sleep and wake up the following day in a vicious cycle of untethered thoughts and unfounded speculations that lead nowhere. Perhaps you tried positive affirmations or talking to a friend. But unfortunately, no amount of assurance, chanting, pondering, or reasoning seems to make a difference. Until you give up your quest for something better and render the final verdict of “guilty of being stuck.” We all have been there at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, it is not a comfortable place to be.
Whenever you feel stuck, you are disconnected from your higher self and tuning in to lower frequency thoughts. So you feel helpless, frustrated, confused, and anxious. It is another form of self-sabotage that originates from fear. Your ego is on the loose. It is taking you for a ride of unhappiness, discontent, and resistance to what can be; A rampage against everything new, new ideas, discoveries, and new feats.
Being stuck demonstrates an inner conflict or lack of clarity about what you want. It betrays unhealthy motivation. Parker Palmer affirms that leaders cast shadows of inner darkness. He described five internal ‘monsters ‘within leaders that lead to toxic behavior [1]. From a psychological perspective, these goblins can weigh leaders down, making them feel stuck. These include
Monster 1: Insecurities. Some leaders are riddled with self-doubt and cannot separate who they are from what they do. As a result, they may project these insecurities onto others and create a toxic culture.
Monster 2: Battleground Mentality. These leaders are highly competitive. They see every encounter as a battle and every other team or department as an opponent to be defeated. They are stuck in the ‘us’ versus ‘Them’ mentality. Research shows that incorporating diversity through cross-functional project teams can increase productivity.
Monster 3: Functional Atheism. This is when leaders get trapped by their misconceptions, “the unconscious, unexamined conviction within us that is anything decent is going to happen here, I am the one who needs to make it happen.” As a result, they lock themselves in a tower of self-imposed, unrealistic expectations that lead to chronic stress, overwork, broken relationships, and burnout.
Monster 4: Fear. Fear of anarchy may drive leaders to quell dissent and smother innovation. As a result, the organization becomes stuck in a cycle of strict rules and policies that favor the status quo instead of encouraging creativity.
Monster 5: Denying Death. Somehow this monster seems to be interchangeable with fear of failure. Unfortunately, this ubiquitous problem plagues leaders unwilling to let go of a project or a policy that is outdated or has proven to be useless. Instead, they prefer to be stuck and keep the organization stuck rather than face public shaming and criticism. Perhaps this monster may be eradicated or minimized in a culture that celebrates failure as a step towards success.
During a group coaching session, a client complained of feeling stuck. Upon inquiry, she disclosed that she was worried about meeting with her brother to discuss family legal issues. She had not seen him in a long time, and they had a history of complicated quarrels. She was so scared that he would physically assault her that she hired a bodyguard. “He hates me, but I love him. It took me ten years to forgive him,” She protested.” Is it possible that he has changed since you saw him last?” I asked. “Maybe,” she replied. Eventually, she confessed her fear that his hate for her would overcome her love for him. “Is that true? Do you believe that love equals hate?” I inquired. “Hmm,” she hesitated. Finally, one of the participants volunteered with her permission and exclaimed, “that is not possible! Hate is not equal to love because love is bigger than hate.”
When we feel stuck, we are often oscillating between two opposing choices. And I say choice because being stuck is a choice. You are conflicted between two different answers to the same question. There is a push and a pull. For example, you say you want to enjoy life more but do not. You are willing and unwilling at the same time. What is propagating that inner conflict? Could it be that you do not want to slow down? Afraid that you will miss out? Afraid of self-judgment? Are you resisting all the love and abundance that comes with slowing down?
Being stuck is a feeling that brings a gift of wisdom within it. But, have you ever wondered what this uncomfortable feeling is trying to tell you? So, the real question here is, why are you feeling stuck?
Reach out and connect!
I will help you peel off the layers and unearth the fear lurking in the deepest recesses of your mind so that you can truly let go of the old to receive the abundance and blessings of the present moment. To work with me in developing a leadership roadmap for you and/or your team, book a free strategy call at www.drayaakkari.com. Elevating your leadership is not an easy feat, which is where I come in. I help you uncover your why and create a leadership roadmap specific to your needs. I provide you with accountability, check-ins, evidenced-based coaching, and professional support from a certified leadership coach credentialed by the International Coaching Federation, an organizational leadership specialist, and an emotional resilience trainer.
Come with me; let’s lead together!
I empower busy and ambitious executives, business owners, and professionals to go from existing to living so they can gain clarity on their purpose, unlock their potential, and elevate their leadership. I am a doctor and a certified leadership coach credentialed by the International Coaching Federation; I have earned a master’s degree in organizational leadership and am a certified emotional resilience mentor and trainer. In addition, I have had the pleasure of establishing coaching relationships with leaders from 20 different organizations.
References
- Palmer, P. (1996). Insights on leadership: Service, stewardship, spirit, and servant-leadership. New York: John Wiley.
One Response