Temperance is a crucial leadership virtue. It is moderation in joy and grief. To be temperament is to walk the middle ground between the two extremes of abstinence and overindulgence. To be temperate is to talk, eat, and sleep in moderation. Temperance is also about being financially savvy and not being extravagant or stingy with money.
Unfortunately, countless leaders lack temperance. Many have anger issues, berate their subordinates, or engage in immoral acts including fraud, coercion, and embezzlement to pursue power and money. Some temperate leaders can be incredibly controlling, micromanaging their followers and going to great lengths to ensure the organization is entirely under their control. Others set the bar so high that no one can live up to their expectations, disempowering the team.
During a coaching session, a client revealed how her intemperate father was a source of great emotional distress for her. He rants and raves over anything and everything, and it is hard to predict when he will fly off the handle. So we discussed setting limits and reflecting on how she is showing up in the relationship. We also looked at how emotional distress affects other aspects of her life, like her relationship with her spouse, children, and professional performance. As the conversation progressed, the client expressed how the most challenging part was giving up hope for a better relationship with her father. And together, we concluded that this might be something she might want to explore herself to become aware of what she needs to let go of to find the clarity she is seeking.
Have you ever been in a problematic relationship with someone who is intemperate? How did you manage it?
Come with me, let’s lead together #leadfromyoursoul
